Other Christmas Movies

People say to me, "But, BeenJammin? What about all of the other Christmas movies? Why don't you review them?" Easy answer: my blog, my taste. More difficult answer: while they may all classify as Christmas movies, to me they fall far short of the mark. In other words, if they don't leave me with warm, glowing fuzzies, I ain't counting them in my Christmas movie list. But, for the sake of argument, I will address a few of these movies here, so that everyone will know why I don't include them in my list.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989): Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo star in a stupid movie about stupid people doing lots of stupid stuff at Christmas time. Pretty much sophomoric humor, but what more can you expect from National Lampoon?

Home Alone (1990): Maccauley Culkin and Joe Pesci engage in cruel, senseless, slapstick violence, the kind of thing that went out with the three stooges. Oh, and the kid's family are pathetic.

A Christmas Story (1983): Peter Billingsly as a painfully cute kid trying everything to convince his skeptical mother to let him have a BB gun for Christmas. Admittedly a very cute movie. I enjoyed it a lot the first fifty or so times I saw it, but it has really started to wear on me over the years. I can't call it a classic myself cuz it doesn't really wear well, if ya know what I mean.

Elf (2003): I hate Will Ferrell. Hate him. Can't stand the man. Don't think he's funny at all. I have only liked one movie that he was in and this wasn't it. Oh yeah, and did I mention that I hate Will Ferrell?

The Santa Clause (1994): Tim Allen kills Santa Claus and - much to his horror -not only must he replace that jolly old elf but he starts to turn into him. You know how it goes? First he denies, then he resists, then he has a life-changing moment and accepts his fate. Whatever. Too predictable to really be any good.

Christmas with the Kranks (2004): A couple decide to skip Christmas and go on a cruise instead. This upsets the neighbors. Once again, too predictable to be funny. Yawn.

Earnest Saves Christmas (1988): Puh-LEEZE!

The Ice Harvest (2005): John Cusack and Billy Bob Thornton ruin everyone's Christmas. I don't think so.

Jack Frost (1998): Michael Keaton as a dad who dies and comes back as a snow man! Mmm-mmm! Sign me up for that yawn fest.

The Polar Express (2004): An all-singing, all-dancing, musical extravaganza in which computer-animated stick figures ride a computer-animated train all the way to the North Pole to visit a computer-animated Santa Claus. Truly, the train is the only good thing in the movie.

Bad Santa (2003): Billy Bob Thornton plays a con man who poses as Santa so he can rob stores on Christmas Eve. Okay, Billy Bob Thornton and Christmas should be mutually exclusive. The man's just too sleezy to be allowed anywhere near this holiday.

So there you have my take on some of the more popular "Christmas" movies that - IMHO - are not very Christmasy. None of these movies leave me with the Christmas spirit. They don't give me the desire to do good to other people. Some of them are all about the commercial side of Christmas. Others just happen to be set at Christmas time. But none of them do it for me.